Chapter II: Foreign scientific internship with a toddler: with any luck, the mom-scientist won't miss the first steps of her kid
One of the duties of a researcher is to complete a foreign internship at a scientific institution. So as a family, we embarked on it. Part two of the Science Maternal series.
In the introductory part of The Science Maternal, I described how to do a PhD with two small children. Today I want to describe one little adventure we had while I was fulfilling my work-study obligations.
According to the Philosophical Dictionary (Durozoi & Roussel, 1994), science is defined as elaborate and general empirical and rational knowledge based on observation, reasoning, or experiment. In doing so, more heads know more. Thus, in the world of science, collaboration, and especially foreign collaboration, is of great importance. As a PhD student at the Faculty of Science of the University of South Bohemia, I was obliged to do at least one month's internship abroad. For pregnant, non-pregnant, and childless, the study conditions must be fulfilled.
Family working holiday in Madrid
Working at the National Museum of Natural History in Madrid with a nine-month-old, intensely crawling baby is practically incompatible. It's just that when you go to experience a foreign workplace, you can't just put conditions on your time. One option was to leave a small breastfed baby for a month; that was not the way for me. However, after a family meeting, we found a solution. My husband didn't hesitate to take a 30-day leave and embrace my duty as an opportunity to enjoy autumn Spain in the role of primary caregiver. I worked out a schedule with my foreign co-worker that comfortably combined my role as a scientist and nursing mom while being workable for everyone involved.
The dreaded plane ride was without the dramas I had envisioned. We miraculously avoided the oft-mentioned topic of crying babies at 12,000 feet above sea level, kicking the seats, pulling the hair of the passengers in front of us, and the pressure change caused by the ears going down. In Madrid, we stayed in a penthouse apartment in a tall building of about 15 square meters.
Within a few days, we got used to the new regime. I cooked snacks in jars for my daughter and lunch for my husband every morning and went to work for about six hours while my husband and daughter explored Madrid's parks and playgrounds. In the afternoon we were together, in the evening I put my daughter to sleep and my husband went to Kendo training. Idyll!
First steps 2,000 kilometres from home
Well, not exactly. Although I rejoiced every morning on my way to work at the freedom I had gained, immediately after sitting down at the computer, the maternal part of my brain spoke up (this is an interesting phenomenon: when I was "mommying", the scientific part of my brain spoke up again). At that time, I was overcome with remorse that I should be with my daughter and worried whether the two of them would be able to do it together without harm. I kept texting my husband anxious messages.
Cruel were also the times when the mere memory of my daughter triggered a lactation so great that I was wringing boxes of long-lasting whole milk from my T-shirt in the afternoon. After work, I would run back and, tongue on my vest, hug them both like I hadn't seen them in a year and enjoy the rest of the day with them.
One afternoon as we were outfitting, we witnessed a touching situation that is a major milestone in the life of a first-time parent and child. Our daughter let go of the bedposts and walked half (roughly a meter) of the entire apartment. Despite our non-standard lifestyle, we were fortunate to experience this event together as a family.
An ambitious but manageable plan
The compulsory internship abroad eventually resulted in a very pleasant collaboration. With my Madrid colleague, I would go on to publish several scientific studies, the outlines of which were developed during this internship.
Writing grant applications to secure research funding is an integral part of scientific work. These applications are rigorously evaluated by an international panel of independent experts who will either recommend or not recommend your project for funding. Providing feedback to applicants is part of the process. In mine, the phrase starting with "An ambitious but manageable plan ..." was often repeated. I think these words illustrate well the direction I was taking and which is evidenced by our life's adventurous journey. I'll be covering our discoveries, science funding and how children fit into it all in future episodes of the Science Parent series.